i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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