I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
