That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The struggles of a small town man whore
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"