I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
a search helicopter?!
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months