This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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