he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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