im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
