he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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