Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
