You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
