Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
