he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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