I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
