I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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