Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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