ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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