Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
