I accidentally burped into my bong.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize