GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
pop tarts are not kleenex
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
