I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
