Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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