Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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