that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
