yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize