Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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