Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize