What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
