Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
