And the cops told us we were all naked.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I want to be your penis for a week.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i think i just lost a toe
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
