In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
