tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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