The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
two words: eviction party
That reminds me...we need to get swords
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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