i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
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