i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
