i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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