ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
