is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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