I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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