i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
