Moan for me like Helen Keller
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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