Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
