it's not cheating when I paid for it
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
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if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You did what with his pubic hair?
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