I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
one might say we're banned from that church
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
