you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
