I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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