You can't motorboat a personality
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
