In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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