If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
