are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You ruined the universe
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
