Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I feel like death gave me a hand job
What changed your mind?
Being sober
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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