what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
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Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
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They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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