life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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