mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
