just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
