I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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