Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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