the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
