i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
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It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
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I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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