Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize